Our youngest daughter sang an A Capella of Amazing Grace during the funeral service, she held it together, as did her cousins who did readings.
Chloe does not wear her heart on her sleeve and prefers to keep her emotions under wraps. She would rather express herself through her music and songwriting. At the very end of all the services the song 'Dance with my father again' was played and straight away I could see the tears welling up and I knew these tears were for Chris. Chloe was breaking her heart and holding on to her dad really tightly. Our other daughter Tamara was crying too as were myself and many others. For a few moment tears were being shed for not just one man, but two. It finally hit Chloe that she would probably never dance properly with her dad again and that he actually has MND and that it is going to take him away from her way far too soon.
Letting go and saying goodbye is never easy, but it is part of life. Sometimes the hardest thing of all is to face up to, or acknowledge, the more difficult things life throws at us. It is easier to stay detached than face the pain head on. There is no right or wrong way in this situation, we all deal with these things differently, we do what is right for us. I think though that it did our daughter good to finally shed tears, tears for not just for one special man in her life, but for her father too. Facing the reality of MND if you have it is hard enough, let alone as a spouse or partner, but to face it as child with a parent who has MND is a whole different ball game and confronting that pain so young, well that can be a scary thing.
Letting go and saying goodbye is hard, but it is also a shock when the reality hits you hard and sudden. Tears are necessary, they are a release of that pain and fear, but most of all those tears and all that pain, well they show us that we love.
