Sunday 3 August 2014

No.47. Trying to be thankful .

That may seem a strange title, especially as it is quite easy and justified to feel sad and hard done by with everything this disease throws at you. MND is a terrible thing, make no mistake about that. It is a guaranteed death sentence and I would do anything if it meant my husband didn`t have to go through this MND journey, but...we also try our very best to count our blessings.

We`ve been married for nearly 20 years, but we've known each other since we were 19. We didn`t fall in love and marry till our mid 30`s and although marrying into farming was a steep learning curve for this townie, and there have been some tough times in the farming world almost from the start of our marriage ,we've supported each other as best we could and if anything, this disease has brought us even closer together and we are very thankful for that.

Between us we have three wonderful, now grown up, children who are bright and funny and keep us well and truly grounded and we are very proud of all of them. Chris became a willing father to my two eldest children when they were both very young and they adore him. When we had Chloe it made our family complete. We are very thankful for them.

We live in a beautiful place in a beautiful county and I personally have always felt blessed to live here. The family have juggled things around so that the farm will stay in the wider family and Chris and I will eventually move into his father`s bungalow on the farm, so we won`t ever have to leave his beloved Gwarth-an-drea. I know some people with MND have to struggle with accommodation that may not necessarily be suitable for someone with disabilities and we are grateful that where ever we live there will be space to adapt as time goes on. We are very thankful for our home and the support of our families.

Christopher has spent his life working with cattle and farming, doing a job he loves. At times it has taken up almost every hour of everyday, but it was and still is his passion. Even at it`s toughest with BSE, Foot and mouth and recurring TB on the farm, he has never, ever considered giving up, though there were times when I felt differently, but that is another story. The thing is not everyone gets a chance to do a job they love and I know Chris is very thankful for that.
 
We also laugh a lot together, as a couple and as a family. We find the humour in everything , especially MND and when Chris came in last night, he could hardly string two words together at times and we laughed about it and that strangely, manages to take the sting out of it. We are thankful that we can still smile.

Sometimes when we feel low we do cry together and we hug and we grieve momentarily, but those moments pass and then we sit back and try to cherish each day that we have. We then try to be thankful for the things we do have and not focus too much on the things we are going to lose until they happen. This is far from easy, we are only human, but we are not letting this damn disease have all it`s own way. It's hard sometimes, but focusing on what we do have, we'll it helps to stop MND dragging us down when the days when we don' t feel thankful hit.