Thursday 26 June 2014

No.8.Kindness in it`s many ways

Chris had his obligatory rest after lunch and off he went back out to his beloved farm. While he was out I had a phone call from the MND Connect people. They are a help line for people with MND and he passed our details onto the Cornish branch. A few minutes later a lady from there telephoned, also very kind and helpful.
It made me think about the kindness that people have shown. Living in a little village word spread fast about Chris having MND and it showed the different ways people react and show that kindness. Some people were on the phone straight away, reacting as if Chris was already wheelchair bound and offering fancy hospital type beds and stuff like that. I kindly explained that Chris was a long way off that stage yet, but thanks anyway. One kind neighbour turned up with a bottle of malt ( he`s knows Chris well) to cheer him up he said, that brought on a few tears I can tell you, we thought that so very sweet. Other people fall into the `cross the road bracket`, they don`t know what to say I guess. I noticed that first when I visited the village shop and one of the ladies in there, usually chatty, was, well different with me. I came home and spoke to Chris about it and I realised she just didn`t know what to say, so `avoided` me instead. I`ve heard people say that can happen when you lose a loved one or have cancer or anything like that, but this was the first time I had experienced it. When I was organising our `Bake it` day I purposely seeked her out to ask if I could put a poster up in the shop. She said yes and then immediately said she was so sorry and didn`t know what to say, a phrase we`ve heard many times and I said there is nothing you can say. That broke the ice and after that things went back to normal and she helped  with the `Bake it` day by baking a cake and promoting it for us. I think men can be the worse for this though, a few of Chris`s male acquaintances have avoided him. I guess, because they don`t know what to say. We don`t blame them, it`s just how some people react. Maybe they think we will start balling our eyes out in front of them, I don`t know. I suppose it is up to us to approch others as if nothing was wrong and take their fear away. If only they knew how scared we were, having to live with this disease.  By and large though, we have been shown nothing but kindness and generousity in abundance. It retores your faith in the human race.